I REMEMBER HOW IT HURTS

I remember how it hurts ,on that Monday morning as the sun rays shot through my room window,i remembered how we both ended the night.How i realized that i’m on my own in this love life thing. I realized i no longer have someone i could call when i got the news, mehemehe’s and also the love messages to share with.

I remember how it hurts, the first three days of forcing myself to understand why or even to understand that i’m alone. I remembered forcing myself to understand why i have to let you go after you did let us go. How i tried to accept that it wasn’t my fault and it will never be my fault because i did what i could but that was your heart’s decision and it can always have decisions and choices.

I remember how it hurts,how that first day,that month dragged like a tortoise or even a snail. I tried so much to escape but i didn’t find my way out and how all the memories we made together kept coming back to break again the broken pieces of me. How i can’t say your name without my heart pounding strong and feeling pain within without fervently wishing it was just a bad dream at all.

“There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream — whatever that dream might be.”
Pearl S. Buck

I remember how it hurts how that first year went on and that i was still around in the hopes of us,how i never gave up waiting that we still get that second chance again. I remember how stupid i was not to open my doors to someone else because i was waiting for you to return and tell me you just needed a break and that its me that you wanted forever. Stupid was i, right? I remember how i turned down every face of potential people offering me their love simply because they weren’t you. After all, nobody is capable of replacing you. There will never be you.

I remember how it hurts , how i promised that i will never risk myself to try love or get attached to someone that much. I remember how the days were filled with sobs to the point that i was begging for my own self to stop thinking. I remember how my body lost its glow, how i lost track of what i was doing. How i submerged into the dark blue waters of sadness and that happiness looked alien to me. I remember how i thought i would stay single forever…someone who will never believe in chances of life and that it only took one person from the past to break me and plans for the future.

I remember how it hurts so bad.
I remember how it hurts!